你是否自我意識過重?

If you struggle with being overly self-conscious, you are likely high on self-awareness and low on self-acceptance. Begin now to acquire a healthy sense of self that will involve taking risks, making mistakes and, if you’re doing it right, being silly. You owe it to yourself and to the next generation; an anxious, overly self-conscious parent often produces a child with the same crippling approach to life.

一些說明你自我意識過重的指標:

Some indicators that you’re self-obsessed:

• 你覺得每一件發生或是沒發生的事都跟你有關.  You think everything that happens or doesn’t is somehow about you.

• 你會試著去掌控別人的感覺, 並指控他們試著掌制你的情緒.  You try to control other people’s feelings and accuse them of controlling yours.

• 你會依照你的權力, 價值與需要來篩審發生在你身上的每一件事. You sift everything that happens through your sense of entitlement, worth, needs.

• 你經常覺得無能為力或是像個受害者. You feel vulnerable or victimized most of the time.

• 你浪費很多時間與精力在審視你走路的方式, 言行舉止, 長相… 但依然覺得你好像做得不夠好. You waste time and energy monitoring the way you walk, talk, look, perform and still feel you’ve messed up.

• 你常常重覆你每天在做的事, 不斷地指責自己或是激賞每一刻的風光偉業.  You constantly rehash every daily event, berating yourself or revelling in every moment of glory.

• 你覺得別人老是將注意力集中在自己身上, 並會依照他們的要求而改變自己的行為. You think people are focusing on you more than they really are and you edit your behaviour accordingly.

• 你的穿著是為了得到別人的認可,而不是依照自己的奇特風格.　You dress for the approval of others rather than your own quirky sense of style.

• 你的每一個溝通方式都以”我”做為起頭. 並且著重於你想什麼,感覺什麼,做什麼等… Your every communication starts with “I” and focuses on what you are thinking, feeling, doing, etc.

• 你以自己的經驗(不管好的或是壞的) 來引導每個對話. You commandeer every conversation with your own — worse or better — experience.

• 你覺得”自戀”這個字, 好像就是在說你… When you look up the word “narcissism” it sounds like you.

少擔心一點, 多享受點生活的方法:

Ways to obsess less and enjoy life more:

• 一次處理一個問題 (例如. 害羞, 自卑, 負面想法等…) Tackle one issue at a time (i.e., shyness, low self-esteem, negative attitude).

• 相信那些, 當你過於自我集中而叫你別那麼在意自己的朋友們. Trust friends who tell you to get over yourself when you become self-focused.

• 實際一點; 完美是不存在的. Be realistic; perfection doesn’t exist.

• 給予自己一點時間去學習如何平衡你的觀點, 並且享受生活. Give yourself time to learn how to balance your perspectives and enjoy life more.

• 當你開始評價自己的時候, 你該決定…好就夠好了. Decide that when it comes to rating yourself, good enough is good enough.

• 實際掌控你之所以這麼緊張的原因, 並尋找可以疏發的管道. Get a handle on what’s made you so uptight and talk it through.

• 處理你極端的情緒. 學會好奇,而不是批評.  Deal with your emotional extremes; be curious and not critical.

• 當你感覺到身邊不安全的人與情境的時候, 學會聆聽你的直覺. Listen to your instincts when you sense unsafe people or situations nearby.

• 放鬆, 相信你自己.  你是被人照顧好的 – 而那個人,就是你自己.  Relax. Trust yourself. You’re in good hands – yours.  

(原文取自這)