Ep. 42. Accountability
Through years of consultation with clients, I started to notice a pattern that we seem to unconsciously blame our unhappiness or happiness on others. As if ‘other’ is the cause of the result in our life. We believe if others behave certain way, then we will be a happier person. Or if they think, talk and act certain way, we would not be angry. Or even if the soulmate show up, how our life would be complete… well, you kind of get an idea where I am going with this.
It did cause my curiosity to look into what cause us to think like this, and have it so deeply ingrain into our mind that we are not even aware of it. And to my surprise, I realized how early we start to train this habit and make ourselves believe that our life is given by others, and not created by our own hand.
If you have been following my blog so far, you must start to get an idea that soul has a nature to evolve. (we continously seeking for better way of living and being). We seek for a purpose to fulfil in life, and base on that purpose we generate tasks of life to overcome our flaws. It then outline the blueprint, setup a platform, design a body and choose your parents and soulmate… As I mentioned before, it’s a very well thought through plans that every detail is taken care of. With all that effort, we incarnate into this body with only one intention in mind, it’s to evolve ourselves into a better soul and be the person who we truly want to be. With this intention in mind, you shall then understand the foundation that “we are the cause of our reality”. It’s only when you can held responsible for your action, you will then understand how you can create your future as well. (You see, everything is give and take, right? Universe never just give you candy without giving you something bitter to taste first. haha)
Accountability is ‘I am responsible for everything that happens to me, whether it’s good or bad’. I know this must be a hard concept to swallow for some people especially those who has been dealing with difficulties in life, but I hope I can explain this later why this concept is important for manifesting your future.
As for now, let’s talk about how and when we started forming a habit of blaming others for our unhappiness or happiness. As I said, it starts young. Even till these days, I saw some parent comfort their wounded child by blaming the elements that cause the wounds. I saw them praise on the material gift that the child receive on the birthday rather than reminding the child how they were loved and thought of. We spent so much time criticize how the world should change to work for us, instead of how we can change to make our world works. We are so comfortable blaming it’s government’s fault because they hold so much power in hand, and forget that we too hold so much power in our hand to make a difference in our own life. We are not good enough because our parents sucks, but we forget that our parents sucks so we can learn better to not become them. We forget that we are the cause of our reality, and we have the power to make any future happens if we put our mind to it. We forget that the mistake is there so we learn better next time, it is not there to stop us from moving forward in life. We take failure as the end of the world, and forget that it’s only the beginning of evolution.
If you want to have a relationship with someone, you will go to that someone and develop a connection with that someone that you can call friendship later. If you make a mistake, you will try to make up to it yourself instead of asking or hoping someone to fix it for you. Though you may get rejected, you can always keep trying other ways to discover which way works. The truth is, one of 100 will work, you just haven’t found it yet. If you fall, notice what cause the fall and try not to make the same mistake again. Everything in life is there so you learn, not to stop you from learning.
Accountability is the foundation of life. It’s believing that ‘I am the cause of my reality’. When you learn to be responsible for the bad thing that happens to you, you will also learn that you are the cause of good thing that happens to you as well. It was then, accountability would be like a magic wand, you can make any future happens for you because you know YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF IT. So instead of protecting your kids from harms and blaming how others should not be the cause of their pain, how about suggesting them it’s okay to feel the pain and fall because mistake is merely there so they could grow. It’s how they learn to do better next time would give them the knowledge to cope with life difficulties and create the life they really want in the future. So don’t make them get a habit to hand that power over to others, and let others decide how their life should be. Because we are the cause of our reality. Our future should be in our own hand, not others! So take on accountability and start creating the future you’d always wanted.
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