Ep. 39. The myth of soulmate

There are three most asked questions when people come to me for consultation.  1. Money (which I don’t even know how it is the first since money should never be anyone’s goal of life any way.  But I guess that I understand it because our society make everyone believe that money is the only way of survival.)  2. soulmate  and 3. health (which I think should be everyone’s first asked question since you need a healthy body to accomplish everything. ;p) 

Honestly, I personally think ‘soulmate’ is a little bit overrated.  It seems to me that most of the people when they talk about ‘soulmate’, they expect a perfect someone would just show up from nowhere and rescue them from their miserable life.  They think this ‘soulmate’ would be everything they wanted and everything right.  They would complete their life, make them whole and rescue them from their unhappy life…  Seriously, I don’t know it’s because the media idolize ‘soulmate’ too much or we were simply too brainwashed by all the fairytale that we read when we were kids.  But somehow, majority of my female clients seems to believe that their lives need saving, by this special soul that is destinated for them called ‘soulmate’.

So it did get me curious and poked into all levels of spiritual worlds, dimensions and even people’s past database and future to figure out if this ‘soulmate’ truly exist.  Ok, to my surprise, they do exist.  But you will be even more surprised to find out that soulmate may not be just one, but it range from 1-3.  It often starts with the lowest potential one to the highest potential as you progress in life.  As the word had already described, soulmate is mate for your soul.   It is a soul or a few souls that come to an agreement with you to work your issue as your mate(s), where you can help one another to work your own issue and evolve into a better soul.  Due to this foundation, ‘soulmate’ often come with a very distinctive personality, that is, they make you want to become a better person, not matter it’s in soul level, physical or mind level.

As many of you follows my blog must know by now, we soul come to this life with one agenda in mind, that is to evolve ourselves into a better soul.  So we all come with flaws (and strength as well, of course).  We set a blueprint based on our purpose and tasks, and then planed our platforms.  We choose a body, parents, and then have an agreement with a soul (or a few souls) to see if you can be mate to help out each other’s task.  For example, both of you may be 50% flaws, but when working with one another, you may be able to reach that 100% perfection.  So what I am trying to say here is that soulmate may make you ‘feel right’, but they are never just ‘perfect’ and ‘everything you wanted’.

When my client spent most of their time waiting for that soulmate to show up and save them from their prolonged loneliness, it’s hard for me to break that bubble to them and tell them that soulmate would never show up if you don’t do something about their lives.  You see, people only attract the people alike.  A person with low self esteem and spend time and money to make their appearance perfect would most likely attract another low self-esteem person who also spend great effort to make their appearance looks good.  Same thing goes with an honest person would most likely attract a person with integrity.   Or a person who appreciate nature would most likely attract one who enjoy life as well.  While you are imaging that Mr./Ms. perfect to present themselves in front of you, have you ever consider if you were compatible to them as well?  Prince don’t just show up because you need saving, ok?  Even Cinderella would have to figure out a way to dress nice, go to the party, and accidently forget her shoe, so prince can find her, right?  So don’t just wait for soulmate to save you, because you don’t need saving.  Make an effort!!!  Your result often reflect how much effort you are willing to put in.  So if you want them to spot you, at least bring yourself to the same level so they can see you.  If you are asking for a Mr. Right, then make yourself Miss Right first.

So if you haven’t met your soulmate yet, the chance is that you may not yet become the person your soul has planned to be.  Therefore, you could not see him as well as he could not see you.  Soulmate would come to your life when you both reach to the agreement level your souls have planned.   They are never ‘perfect’, because you were in agreement to work with one another in order to get better.  So there’s always room for improvment, not just for him(her), but for you as well.  Due to this characteristic, soulmate does come with very distinctive quality, that is they inspire you to become a better soul/person.  You shall love yourself more and appreciate your growth.  You may have fight or argument as everyone esle, but you would be able to notice that every incident you would learn to become a better person next time.  When one is no longer suitable to be your soulmate (as I mentioned before, it may vary from 1 to 3 depends on soul’s agreement), you will usually have a very clear sense that you are not going anywere with that person (or sometimes even feel like living backwards).

I’ve seen many people stuck in an abusive relationship and even tried to convinced themselves that their other half is ‘the one’.  It’s often caused by their low self-esteem that they do not believe they deserve anyone better.  But seriously, as what I said earlier.  If you find yourself in a situation where you start to hate yourself, that’s already a clear sign that he/she is not the one.  It works for those who believed that they have worked everything they could to evolve themselves, but their other half is simply stuck where they were, or have not improve at all.  It’s usually very clearly indication that either you are not really evolving the way you think you should, or he/she is simply not the one.  You may have to learn to let them go and move on with your life.  So to conclude this, ‘soulmate’ is not perfect, they may come with a lot of flaws that would drive you crazy and definitely will not let you live happily ever after.  Nor would they save you or even make your life whole.  But they do come with a very clear characteristic that you want to be a better person (for you or for him/her).  They usually grow when you grow as well (with or without your assistance).  So if you want to check whether your other half is your ‘soulmate’?  Simply check within yourself and ask that are you a better person now then you were when you first met him/her?  Do they still inspire you to become a better person?  If so, then they still have great potentials.  If not, you may simply have to learn to let them go.