It’s funnythat I often heard from friend that how their
other half likes to fix ‘the relationship’ and how it was not working out for
them. I had to admit that I am one
of those fixer. Well, why
not. We were taught while growing
up that we should always try to fix things that are broken. So we learn to fix our toy,
toilet bowl, computer and into relationship. We were all so well-trained that we seriously believe that
everything is ‘fixable’.
But it took me long enough to start realized that men and
women had complete different way of fixing thing. In order to make it work for the other half, you will
almost have to understand how their mind surrounds the idea of fixing.
When things are broken, I realized that Men like to fix it
verse women like to solve it. (Of course, this will only apply to
majority. Which I believe there
are minority that are completely opposite.) For example; if the toilet bowl is plugged, men will
always try to unplug it when women will try to figure out what plug it. I believed that the best way to balance men and women is to use each other’s talent and find a way togehter to work it out. Such as men can fix the
plugage while women try to figure what cause it. When the cause is found, in the case the men and women
trust each other enough, they will then work together to prevent the problem
from happening again, taking whatever action needed to be taken.
Sadly enough, we are often so wrapped up by our idea of
fixing, believing our way is the only way of making thing works. We’re often reluctant to listen to what
others had to say. Even if
we do listen, our mind usually decided to generate an idea how it could be
fixed while we are listening. It’s
not often we truly listen where other come from and what we could do to make
that happen.
Relationship, for example, is not a easy thing to fixed for
say. It take two people to tango,
of course it will take 2 people to make it work. While one person tried really hard to make it work (with
their own idea, of course.), does anyone ever take sometime to think about if
their idea of fixing would ever work for the other half?
For men, nothing needed to be fixed unless there’s some kind
of explosion. (Like argument or emotional turbulence.) As for women, we often experience
emotional unbalance while things are not working out for us. So we would like to solve the problem
while we started feeling that way rather than wait until there’s nothing we
could do about it.
I also found that most women are seeking someone to grow
together with them while most of men will try to fix the relationship back to
where it was when they believe was the best. And that’s exactly why the whole ‘fixing the relationship’
doesn’t work out. See, when
women are trying to move on. Most men are trying to stay where they are
comfortable.
I believe any relationship will work, if two people are
committed to each other and willing to communicate. Which I also believe is the very basic foundation to create
a solid relationship.
Communication is not only expressing what you truly feel, but also
listen to what other has to say, and then find a way that both can work
together. All marriage takes works;
so don’t expect the other half to work for you while you are contributing
nothing towards the marriage. Take away all the materials around you,
and pretend there are only you and the other half in the universe and nothing
else. Now think about what you have to offer in order to create the bond between you and the other half? If you cannot think of anything, then start getting on to it and create that bond. Everything in the whole universe can bond without material, so why should we? Believing there’s a reason why you marry him/her at the first
place. If he/she is still the one
you want to spend the rest of your life with, then make that happen. Stop complaining and generating all
those negative energy around your marriage. Find that balance in the marriage where you are
him/her can both be happy together.
Work it, don’t just expect it.
No matter what kind of result your relationship turns out to
be, at least we will never regret that we had never tried. Don’t you think?
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