【轉載】五個當你在追逐你的夢想卻依舊能夠擁有完美情感的方法

It would be great to be motivated, achieve lots of business success and become financially free but what if you had nobody to share it with? Truly caring and understanding your loved ones on a daily basis is an invaluable skill. As you become more successful you will appreciate the time and effort you put in to your relationships.

Relationships are like any other aspect in life; if it is not going forwards the chances are it is going backwards. It is imperative that you become aware of the relationships in your life that you are neglecting.

Here are 5 Creative ways that you can have amazing relationships whilst you are chasing your dreams.

1. Don’t just hear…..Listen! （不要只是聽見。。。而是用心去聆聽。）

你的耳朵不會關起來，所以你永遠會聽見對方在說些什麼，但帶著想要了解對方究竟要說什麼的目標去聆聽與注意是完完全全不一樣的技能。聆聽需要維持視覺接觸，觀看對方的肢體語言並注意到他們是嚴肅或輕鬆地傳達他們的訊息。

Your ears are never closed, so you will always be able to hear what is being said but listening and paying attention with the goal of understanding what the other person is saying is a totally different skill. Actually listening involves maintaining eye contact, watching their body to see if they are becoming more uptight or more relaxed as they deliver their message.

聆聽需要你不斷地回覆應對對方的訊息以確定你真的了解對方所要說的。當你正確地聆聽的時候，即便在某個當下你把對方的訊息解釋成了批判的時候，你也不會立刻地覺地需要竪起防衛應對。

Listening involves repeating information back to the person to make sure you have ‘got the message’. When you are listening properly you will not get immediately defensive if it is something that you interpret as a potential ‘criticism’.

2. They Can’t Argue On Their Own （他們無法自己一個人吵起來）

在字典裡對於爭執的定義是“兩個完全不同意見的交流，特別是較為生氣的那一方”。在這裡的關鍵字是“交流”。這個字的意思是需要兩個人參與才行。如果你把自己從這個事件中脫離開來，那麼所謂的“爭執”便沒有辦法發生。這不管是你的另一半還是公司的同事。你可以掌控這樣的情勢並將爭執轉換成討論，你可以從他們的眼裡看見到現在的情勢，把爭執轉換成討論之後並可以在最後找到解決的辦法，而不是變成哪都去不了的兩個生氣的人。

The dictionary definition of an argument is ‘an exchange of diverging or opposite views, typically a heated or angry one’. The key word for me here is exchange. The word exchange means that two people have to be involved. If you remove yourself from the exchange of opposite views then it can’t be an argument anymore. It doesn’t matter whether it’s your spouse or a work colleague; you can take control and turn the argument into a discussion where you can see the situation through their eyes and turn the argument into a discussion with an actual resolution at the end of it, rather than two angry people going nowhere.

3. Breathe, Think, Pause….. And Respond （深呼吸，思考，暫停。。。。然後再回應）

我知道上面的理論聽起來很簡單，但做起來卻很難。不管我是否覺得自己可能隨時會爆發，而那很可能會讓我與所愛的人或是同儕發生爭執，我這麼告訴我自己：深呼吸，思考，暫停（暫停，思考）然後再回應。如果你是一個對自已誠實的人，並將這樣的技巧運用在你上一個爭執之上的話，那麼所謂的爭執根本就不會發生。大部份的爭執會加溫的原因都在於你衝動地說出了十分之後的你會後悔的話，不是嗎？如果你能夠這麼做的話，那麼你就會議發現你與人之間的互動，特別是你愛的人，也會跟著改善了許多。

I know that the above approach sounds great in theory but what action can you take to make it a reality. Whenever I can feel myself on the verge of what could potentially be an argument with someone I love or a peer I think to myself “come on; B.P.T.R”. B.P.T.R stands for Breathe, Pause, Think, and Respond. If you were totally honest with yourself; if you utilized this technique in the last ‘argument’ you had it wouldn’t have happened. Most arguments escalate to the next level because you react and say something that ten minutes later you wish that you hadn’t said. True or true? Do this yourself and you’ll notice huge improvements with all of your interactions with other people and most importantly, those you love.

當你下一次發現自己單純地說些話只是為了“反擊”的時候，深呼吸﹣讓多一點氧氣讓你可以清楚地思考。暫停﹣允許你的理智來掌控這個局勢。思考﹣讓最有效的資源，著重在解決方法的反應出現，然後你再反應。

Next time you find yourself in a situation where someone in your life says something that could create ‘that feeling’ where you just want to ‘bite back’…BREATHE – take the oxygen in that will allow you think clearly. PAUSE – allow your conscious mind to take control. THINK – let the most useful resourceful, ‘solution-focused’ response come to you and only then should you RESPOND.

4. Daily Love （每天的愛）

當我們在面對親密關係的時候，我們常常忘了一些小小的事可以造成很大的影響。基本上，你每天都有很多小到根本不需要花你一毛錢的小事可以讓你的另一半感覺到那麼多一點點的愛。每天的熱情與長久的情感是密不可分的。

When it comes to our intimate relationships, we often forget the ‘little things’ that make a big difference. There are genuinely so many things that you can do EVERY DAY that have little or zero financial cost that really can make your partner feel that extra bit more loved. Introduce daily passion into the mix as well and long-term success is inevitable.

就我個人來說，我喜歡每天留個『愛的小紙條』，裡頭有著愛的訊息， 感激或是感動。就連每天工作回到家見到你的另一半都是像是件大事一樣也很重要。把你的頭從電視，電話，電腦中轉移開來，跳起來給他們一個熱情的吻。這聽起來可能是個很簡單的主意，但我真的相信這麼做會為你們帶來極大的改變。

Personally, I like to write what I call a ‘little love note’ every single day, with a message of love, appreciation and gratitude. It is also crucial to make sure you make a ‘big deal’ out of the first time that you see your partner at the end of the day. Take your head out of the TV, your phone or your computer and jump up and give them a big passionate kiss. This may sound like an amazingly simple idea and I truly believe that it will make all of the difference for you.

5. You Need Relationship Goals （你需要為情感設立目標）

你為你的身體，財務設定目標，你似乎對生活的每一樣事物都有辦法設定目標。你想想看，要讓一件事有進展或是改善的話，就必須要有一個值得的目標可以幫助它前進。

You have a goal for your body, you have a goal for your finances, you seem to have goal for every area of your life apart from what could arguably be the most important.  Think about it; for something to make progress and improve it has to be moving towards a worthy goal.

在情感裡面，人們很容易變得『舒服』，然而，這是很危險的境界，也很可能會讓曾經是美好的關係慢慢地變味。就如同我們生活中的種種事情一樣，想要防止這樣的事情發生，最好的辦去就是設立目標。你可以設立每個周未會帶你的另一半出去玩的目標，或是每個月買一束花給他，或是一個禮拜帶他們出去吃一次飯等等。你做什麼並不重要，重要的是你致力地想要實質地做些什麼。

In a relationship it is very easy to get ‘comfortable’, however, this is dangerous state to be in and what was once a beautiful relationship can begin to slide backwards. As with any part of our lives the easiest way to combat this is to set a goal. You could set a goal to take your partner on a weekend away or to buy them flowers once a month or take them for a meal once a week. What you do isn’t as important as committing to actually doing something.

Joel Brown – The Founder of Addicted2Success.com recently shared his advice on How to Have A Successful Relationship Whilst Being An Entrepreneur during his interview on Inspire.FM in Malaysia. You can listen to it here.